I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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