and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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