He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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