do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
