Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I intend to get homeless drunk
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize