I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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