So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
