I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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