Don't make out with my wife yet
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
