If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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