I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
