The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
