My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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