I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize