So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
