I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
