I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
