Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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