it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
