I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
