His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
