I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
