It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize