I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
so much tequila, so little girl.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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