i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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