question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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