Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
