Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
