Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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