lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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