I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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