Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
