just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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