Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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