you're like a bully in the Christmas story
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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