I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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