My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
