She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
