Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
