there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
