So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
