she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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