good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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