can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
