I want to have your abortion
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
