Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
