If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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