I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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