I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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