I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
