Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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