yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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