A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
