woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize