Heybabeimwearingurpanties
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
