went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
