you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
