break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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