She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
