its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
