Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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